.

Will it help?

my first original short story.

a lot of hard work has gone into writing this deep literary piece. please be kind. it was originally meant to be 55 fiction, i.e. a story comprising only 55 words, but my creativity got the best of me and i wrote double of that.

___________

The ray of light streaming through her bedroom window and onto her face had gotten bright enough to wake her up. Such phenomenon usually makes people curse Helios, but she found it beautiful (cuz she was an annoying bitch like that). In any case it was better than listening to her psycho of a mom scream into her ears about getting late. She woke up and stretched contently, her thoughts full of optimism about the promising day ahead.

Suddenly, she got a text. It was the Head Cheerleader of their school. “i slept wid ur bf last nyt. xo”

Well, the Sun doesn’t seem so beautiful now, does it, Bitch?

The End.

Moral : i cannot write stories to save my life. Also, keep your bf interested. Get a boob job done.

musings in may ...mushrooms...manwhores ...*insert other words with M to make it sound like a clever title*

alrighty folks, SUPPPPPPPP?!!

you would think since my boards ended I would have been upto numerous fun filled activties, expanding my creative genius, travelling to mysterious far away lands and in general blessing the almighty for the holidays!

turns out, SO NOT!!! 

all that i have been upto the last month is sleeping, bickering with parents over rules-of-the-house (section 13A, "things teenagers are allowed to do in the house" (cuz the things that arent allowed would be too lengthy to write!!)), torturing my neighborhood kid, reading novels, harassing people on the net and discovering my knack for gettin pwned on the phone with random strangers :P

i also watched paranormal activity with my friends. being the toughie that i am, no movies have been able to scare me uptil now. (ok except 13 ghosts and amityville horror when i peed in my pants, but in my defense, i was 12 and i was alone)....reliable sources on the net confirmed it was a CLASS movie bound to deliver and so i'd been harassing my friend to download it since weeks... after several forces of nature preventing me from watching it (the torrent wouldnt work, my speakers broke down, obnoxiously long power cuts in friends house, my granny protesting over existance of boys, a meteor hitting our town etc) i FINALLY got to watch it. and the verdict??  i dont think it's all it's cracked up to be.... but that might be because me and my friends couldnt take the boring parts and forwarded it to the scary bits. :P  something thats bound to turn every movie into a Scary Movie (the parody). the end however, did blow our minds out. i was almost huggin this guy friend i have, a move not so smooth because he later mentioned it (whether to embarass me or just an observation, i have no idea). people have GOT to understand we're not ourselves in times of adrenalin rush!!

mundane piece of information, but i also got this very cute sleeveless top that my mom got a fit about. cuz it was sleeveless. yes. cuz it was sleevless. no, it was NOT transparent. and no i didnt say the top was all i was gonna wear. it's silly things like this that she fusses about which makes me wish for hostel all the more.

speaking of which my dad has finally agreed to let me study english honors in delhi =] it all depends on whether i get an engineering college away from home or not... i defintely cant stay with parents anymore. (dont judge me)

moving on, one of my friends has been showing attitude problems and attention whore-y symptoms in the past month. (this is you andrew ;) ) you know how my parents have a problem letting me go out if my group of friends has boys in it? well due to this all the events that andrew planned ended up evaporating in the past year. but finally my dad, due to some miracle (possibly my good result in boards) allows ! and then andrew has the horrible, horrible idea of taking revenge. yeah, by refusing to come and in general being a sissy pants and staying at home while all of us go out. well i dont know whether he was expecting us to fall on our knees and beg him to come or watch with glazed look in our eyes as he made us realise our 'mistakes' ...but it didnt work. we planned to go without him, and bring him back souveniars too :P ........all was going well till our plan got cancelled due to rain... andrew was very smug. damn you, andrew. i hope your braces never come out.

i also talked on the fone with guy whos awesomeness was so much it gave me a brainfreeze and i ended up sounding like i had the IQ of a new born cow. conversation killers like "yeah" and "okay" were the only words i could manage. along with noises that sounded something between grunts and giggles. embarassin i tell you. every second of silence sounded like an awkward year of it. here's a snippet of the conversation for your amusement. ( words in italics are the voices in my head)

me (in squeaky voice) :  hey... is this *insertguysnamehere*?

Well he did just message you a second earlier, who do you expect he suddenly turned into, Santa Claus?

guy: oh no no, its his dad !

me: there you go, mortal... he is using sarcasm, you're getting a spasm!

*nervous laugh*

guy: whoa, you sound like this crazy stalker i had...!!

me:  oh? :( you sound like shahid kapoor !

thats right, compare him to celebrities, you're doing a good job of not acting like a stalker right now

guy: haha is that a good thing or a bad thing?

me: *more silliness prevails*

xxx

anyway. albiet getting pwned randomly like this 20 times a week i managed to somehow survive the month of may. my board results as you might be curious to know is 88%. boards for those of my foriegn readers is the indian equivalence of SATs/ GCSEs ... i have no idea how i managed to pass math, i almost started cryin in the examination hall during the paper. not that i cry. im too cool for crying. anyway i managed an 80. god bless the examiner, he must have been on drugs or something. or just got laid that day. :D

speaking of examiners, i got a poor 91 in english. GASPPP. may the examiner have to sit thru KITES for a whole week! (yeah it was that bad !)

now reading: Brida, Paulo Coelho
now listening: pretty on the outside, BFMV

april fool-ed!

dont you just hate it when you try to april fool someone but either they dont fall for it OR the clever smart-asses turn the tables on you? yeah people, as smart as i am, i have been turned tables on this year! :x

it's 11 AM and by now i've tried fooling 3 people with the following results:

_______________

1:25 AM last night:

my best online buddy (lets call him... BOB) (whom  btw i swear i will kill one day):

MRA (my royal ass, that is ME):  *serious, suspicious tone* listen man i got something to tell ya...
BOB: *peeked interest* YES?
MRA: dude, im gay.

*expects shocked outburst/ sad crying since she is no longer available :P *

BOB: *yawn* tell me something i dont know.
MRA: what!?
BOB: well yeah, i knew you were gay, hehe, no worries. i have this friend of mine, shes gay too, i ll introduce u...shes' very--
MRA: SHUTUP!  im not gay! Its april fools! 
BOB: oh...but...oh.

*awkward silence in which i contemplate painting my nails pink and shaving off my moustache (lol kiddin) *

_______________

9:15 this morning

MOM

*while she is doin yoga*

MRA: mom, i hacked into andrew's facebook account and read all his messages. he and sam are gay and having an affair 

(a/n: names have been changed to withhold privacy, they are both my friends who mom knows well and are both very straight males)

MoM: *namaste postion* Om...

MRA: Mom!

MoM: Yes, yes! What were you doing sneaking around someone else's private messages?

MRA: But, thats not the point, see they're gay! Can you believe that? ANDREW? He used to all gangstaa!

MoM: You seemed to have missed some important lessons, young lady! It is not of any of your business to read sum1's private messages, I think I'll hav to talk to your dad-

MRA: But but but the gayness-

MoM: It is a state of mind that shall pass. *starts doing weird aerobic postures*

MRA: You have to read about it, mom. You dont become gay suddenly. And i was kidding about it all, HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!

MoM: Sure you become straight and gay randomly, I was a lesbian before I married your dad

MRA: *_*

MoM: what? it is a state of mind. and i thought you were open minded about it.

MRA: *_*

MoM: Gotcha! Happy April Fools!

MRA: *runs out as Mom rolls around laughing*
_______________

10 am today:

My friend Nk

MRA: OMG U WONT BLV WHAT I JST FOUND OUT!

NK: are you trying to fool me?

MRA: No... maybe... yeah *sigh*

_______________

Thats it! I give up ! I fail at pranking people. They're getting smarter than me less dumb with each passing year.


Any tips/foolish stories/chocolate cakes? Leave em right here!

=D

12th is OVER!!

HA! I cant believe I'm DONE with school life. Today was my last board exam! (and yeah i'm passing all so no doubts about it)

Everyone says school life is the best part of your life, and no matter how much you bitch bout school, you eventually do miss it. Well not to be rude or anything but, STFU. I'm very happy Im getting out of this shit hole. =D

Not to mention life has just started. If these were the best days of my life I'm terrified of what the next part is gonna be like =S I saw someone say in one of them groups on Facebook (HAHA they're sucha sensation these days, I personally am a fan of about 1100, not to mention I quote some of them in real life... yeah I know i need to get a life.).... that we should remmeber our school days coz they're never coming back. Well, er, which phase of time DOES come back ?? -_- Old age doesnt come back either, SAVOUR IT! SAVOUR IT! (no offence to the old readers out there)

Well anyway, so today was computer science. Our invigilators were a very constipated and suicidal looking lady and a VERY huge body builder kinda man. I mean I almost gave up on all my plans of cheating when I looked at him. He caused quite a sensation. Turns out, he was actually quite a sweet temepered man who would just smile at you when he saw you helping others. The lady wasnt much of a problem either... she never looked up.

Well thats that... Im really bored now. Dont you just hate it when that happens!

2012... it's coming!

I sincerely hope all these reports about world end being here come true. First off, it will make everyone in  society lighten up and let others live according to how they want to - and even if we get that for 2 years its far better than living according to the norms your whole damned life. Second, meh, living aint so cool anyway.

But i really dont think world end is here. 2 years before world end surely must not feel so boring and lacklustre as now feels. there must be signs marking the fact that 2 years afterward, all the spontaneous destruction as shown in the film 2012 is going to happen. i dont think 2012 got it spot on, either. though im no scientist myself, i really believe its going to be a gradual process. which should have started by now.

assuming however that this stuff really happens, i 'll be 19 years old then. formally an adult, and able to do WHAT I PLEASE :D

sad for all those kids who are going to be born on that fateful day, however.

"congratulations, its a boy!"

"i wonder who he takes after--" BOOM!

Haha, geddit people? stop reproducing right now, its not going to be of any use.

Anyway, here's a list of the things i would do if it was CONFIRMED that life on earth is gonna end (i say confirmed, because if by chance we dont even have a small "poof" for an explosion in 2012 and nobody dies, i'll have to take refuge in a monstery in holland for the rest of my ...damned life!)

Alrighty here i go.

1. get electric blue highlights in my hair. or a wacky orange!

2. piercing below my lower lip. an example is katrina kaif in the film blue. it looks so cute! ( i cannot get her pic because the search results give stuff about blue films :( )

what im looking at is a style like this : http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00735/Scarlett-Keeling_28_735253a.jpg and similar stuff.

3. Go to Miami or the Bahamas with some of my wildest friends! (though Im sure everybody would go wild with just 2 years left to live) Yes, I'm no longer fond of England- it's too cold and urban. I need a hippie life, baby!

4. Tell each and every one of my friends and family members what they mean to me and how grateful or ungrateful i am for them :) Especially tell my parents they've done a good job raising a responsible, kind and mature girl. ( Hey stop laughing ! -_- ) . Tell my friends THANKYOU for making me a deeper person!

5. Buy a great dane so I wont be bored at my house ( i.e. when Im not partying)

6. BURN ALL MY STUDY BOOKS! watch lovingly as the fire consumes each and every page of carboxylic acids that haunted my year, as magnetism gets a piece of torture itself and as calculus gets differentiated into nothingness !!!!!!!

What would you guys do ? Leave your comments!

cappuchino =]

here's an instant update on what has been happening in my life for the past few days!!:

missing action SO freaking much. action, by the way, is how i pretend to pronounce akshaan, who is the 3 yr old kid i wrote about recently. yeah we made up and yeah he is SO awesome, i LOVE HIM!!1one1!!11! anyway he's gone to rajasthan which is his granparents house but he'll be back tomorrow :D :D and then im gonna lock him up in my house and feed him chocolates and chips so i can be his most favourite teenager in the world!!!!!!!!! mwhahahah. ahem.

i have no idea how my dentist manages to be the insensitive jerk he is. and worse of all he blames ME when any wire/bracket of my teeth manages to turn loose, hence his departing message today was "DONT FIDDLE WITH THEM!" AS IF i would like to reach inside the dangerous cavern of my mouth full of metallic weapons ready to pierce your finger at the lightest touch. OR to pull them out and have to visit his office, where another dentist, my dad and an old bum sat today discussing human greed as i hollered with pain. hmpf. self important adults who think their oh-so-smart thoughts are going to help anyone. ok they do help, but im pissed, wokay?

my pre-pre-boards start a week after this, and guess what, besides physics im *tada* prepared. sort of. i mean my percentage was so low last exams that it can only grow higher :P but seriously. i dont know what came over me, starting last week i did 9 chapters out of 13 in maths and THAT IS A NOVELTY !!

momos without sauce dont taste good. must not be lazy enough not to return to shopkeeper for sauce.

i finished reading 'to kill a mocking bird' and the similarities between it and my favourite book (nora, nora) were surprising. i bet TKAMB would have been my favourite book had i not read N,N before. but you know what they say ... ah, i dont remember what they say. something about not liking daal after you have had chicken. you know? anyway here's the similarities between the 2 books:





pretty cool, eh ?

anyway, in other reading thats been going on, i read the most horrible, eye bleeding inducing, suicide promoting, no plot, no brainer book i have ever come across in my life :Jet city woman. i cannot believe for the life of me HOW SHIT LIKE THAT GETS PUBLISHED. by rupa publications, too. thats the company which chetan bhagat's with.

on the bright side though, if THAT lame excuse for a book can get published, i definitely can :D

and to think i always thought only good things give you inspiration ;)

now listening: a person screaming something bout world end bein here ("RUN!!!")
now reading: course books
now wanting: freedom from (read above)