hey guys! i have seen many posts around here like '100 ways to know you're in delhi" etc, and it gave me an inspiration to do one with my school. most of it is dark and shows my displeasure at being in my school, but whatever. just read and tell me whacha think ;)
you know you're in army school, brly cantt when:
1) you compliment the kids about how you've heard army skool is the best, and instead of thanking you /smiling/saying 'aw shucks!' they start laughing their asses off or exclaim with the expression of a baniya that has been betrayed, 'so did we!'
2) you ask kids about the school's principal and instead of being told the info you have to hear the followin: various swear words delievered with tasteful vengeance, something about the school going to dogs, him sitting in his office on sundays just to escape his wife/etc. you might also hear the words: chota recharge, gattu, etc.
3) you ask them who the best teacher is, the kids look at each other and burst out laughing again.
4) you ask them where they last went for a picnic, they repeat point no 2) or beat the shit out of you for 'sprinkling salt on their wounds'
5) you have a tense word with someone over a trivial matter and are told to meet them outside school. and no, it is NOT because they want to take you out to a friendly dinner/lunch to settle the matter.
6) if you visit during IPL season, you will be approached by many a students for whats popularly called satta... there's a whole IPL going on in the school itself.!! cautionary note: if you do take part in the betting, remember only to deal with experienced/reputed sattebaazez. most of the rest refuse to pay, and if you protest point no 5) is executed.
7) there is no need for you to fake food poisioning to escape tests, eating from the school canteen will do the trick for real.
8) you reach school and find half the population absent. then you realise it must be monday, for every monday is the time for 20 mark tests.
9) you learn to ignore huge masses of crowd gathered together in the field, encircling what you know would be the section C boys beating the crap out of each other, because it happens every other day.
10) students wishing teachers as they pass by them in the corrdiors mutter a swear words under thier breath.
11) you will have a strong knowledge of the choicest swear words/female/male body anatomy within a year of joining. words are written in the most un-ignorable places.
12) you press the open button of the CPU to insert a CD and find wrappers of Kacha Aam and other toffees stuffed there out of vengeance.
13) you will heard words like 'sources', 'setting', 'jugaad', 'jhand' from even the little kids, and when you ask what they mean, you'll be smirked at and refused to be told.
14) you know who john is. LOL.
15) you often hear noises that make you wonder if a drunken donkey is loose in the school. dont worry, it is only the music teacher passing on his knowledge of the 'saat surs' to his very excited [read: bored, tortured] students, who keep muttering stuff like 'log kehte hain main sharaabi hoon!' under thier breaths.
16) none of the chemicals in the chem lab works, thyre too diluted with water by the senior kids. also, never trust that bottle on the 13th shelf that says 'alcohol'... it is actually conc sulphuric acid. [i know nothing bout this i swear :p ]
17) every year on holi, teachers conduct 'surprise' checking of the bags and sieze all colors/water balloons errc. when the students leave... they play with it.
18) you will find various photos on the school computer where the head of the principal has been cropped out and stuck in the most objectionable places.
19) chalks and window clay are VERY dangerous things and any one seen with them should be run away from. FAST.
20) last but not the least... there is no such shit as "even after all the above points, students are proud to be part of the army school"... they are NOT, and all of them want to get out fast.
now reading: hearts in atlantis by stephen king
now listening: cry me a river, lostprophets
now wanting: a friend