Saturday, August 29, 2009

mojo adventures. casefile: PendriveRecovery.

there arent many professions i fancy i can do well in, but i honestly believe i can be a pretty good detective.

it started when i was about 8 or 9 years old. two of my friends [lets call them teapot and starfish] were small time enemies. you know, kids fight all the time. starfish had recently gotten a new bicycle, a purple colored girlish thing whom we were all in awe of since we were kids and were ignorant of the fact that stuff like hayabusa exists. anyway, it just so happened that during one of the quarreling fests, teapot stormed off to the lane where starfish's bicycle was parked. all of us remained behind, blissfully ignorant till suddenly starfish screams that she knew teapot was going to shove her bike to the ground which would cause scratches on the body of her newly acquired mode of transportation. (yes, it was a big deal, WE WERE KIDS!!!)

we ran to her bike and there she was: standing tall as ever. (the bike not starfish). but i knew better than to believe what i saw. what if it had been shoved to cause those fateful scratches and been picked up again to hide the crime? i went to it, bent down and looked at the ground where the stand was. you know, the stand you have to push with your foot so it slides down and the bike leans on it? and there i saw it: proof that the bike had indeed fallen down. the stand, due to the weight of the bike, had caused a sort of hole in the ground (fortunately there was mud, so i could see) but instead of one hole that would mark parking cycle one time, there were two!!!! which means it had been picked up and made to stand again!!!

i dont know whether thats awfully clever or something, but its pretty darned good for a kid in 4th grade. in any case, i think im good at putting things toegther. see whats making me write this awfully lengthy entry is the fact that a few months ago, a very precious thing of mine was lost: my 8 GB pendrive. now the fact that it had almost all of the photos that i had taken since i came to live where i am living right now (annual function, farewell practice, holi, random cute pics, etc) is not the only thing that makes it precious. the soclidng that i got from my parents... PHEW!!

anyway, all people who know me know that i lost it for i have been whining about it ever since.

now let me tell you exactly where and how i lost it.

i'd lent it to a friend who thought it would be a marvellous idea to return it to me when we met in the evening for our daily rounds of playing bandminton. no, not return it, shove it in front of my nose when i was reading a slam book, just so i could know she had indeed, brought it, and then throw it carelessly in my bicycles basket ( and not tell me she had done so) as we walked together to the cycle stand place.

anyway, i put the slam book in the basket, hoping it would be safe, and we went for playing badminton. and when we returned to my bike...

the slam book was on the ground, in the mud, i was pretty amused by that... till i returned home and told double ess she had forgotten to give me my pendrive and she said she'd put it in my basket. THATS when i freaked out. beacuse there was no pendrive on the ground/basket.

anyway after a lot of accusing/tears/fights i was able to forget about it. its almost been 3 months since and now: the mystery has raised its head again.

theres this really sweet junior that i have. REALLY sweet. TOO sweet for it to be real, as i later found out.

one day in school, 3 months after i lost my pendrive:

him: hey, u lost ur pendrive right?
me: yeah, how dyu know?
him: *little pause* double ess told me
me: oh!
him: the pendrive had "ska" written over it, right?
me: YES!
him: hehe, i saw a black guy pick it up (note: black here means dark complexioned)
me: what!?
him: yes, he was fiddling around with it but it was too dark so i couldnt notice his face... i was far away.
me: oh? what else did you see? what did he do? are yu sure he picked it up?
him: *shifty* sorry cant tell you anything else
me: *suspicious look* u seem to know a lot
him: hehe, gotta go

anyyyyway. so besides his shifty looks and nervous gestures, theres somethin else you should know about
1) double ess didnt know him. she couldnt possibly have told him bout the pen drive
2) he was so far away he couldnt notice the guys face, but he did read the tiny letters (ska) written on the drive?
3) he is NOT as sweet and innocent as it appears. i am usually pretty good at recognizin people. but MAN can he ACT! i kinda had doubts that he was the inncoent child he appeared to be when i saw him lying on the phone to his father, and drinking something that looked like cold coffee all alone in the local market, i mean ...that requires some level of ...not being slow.

he had made the folly of telling me about one of his old enemies, though, who doesnt live here anymore but is my friends brother. so i decided to do a little investigation, contacted the enemy and found out about the sweet guys past: he has a record of stealing and in general, talking behind peoples back,etc. he stole a cd once!

you know what im gettin at right? its mean to label someone as a thief so i wont do that. i have just told you all the ...evidences that make the needle of suspicion tilt a little towards him.

but in any case i dont know what i can possibly do. any hints/ideas/chocolate cakes? leave them right here!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

you know you're in my school when:

hey guys! i have seen many posts around here like '100 ways to know you're in delhi" etc, and it gave me an inspiration to do one with my school. most of it is dark and shows my displeasure at being in my school, but whatever. just read and tell me whacha think ;)

you know you're in army school, brly cantt when:

1) you compliment the kids about how you've heard army skool is the best, and instead of thanking you /smiling/saying 'aw shucks!' they start laughing their asses off or exclaim with the expression of a baniya that has been betrayed, 'so did we!'

2) you ask kids about the school's principal and instead of being told the info you have to hear the followin: various swear words delievered with tasteful vengeance, something about the school going to dogs, him sitting in his office on sundays just to escape his wife/etc. you might also hear the words: chota recharge, gattu, etc.

3) you ask them who the best teacher is, the kids look at each other and burst out laughing again.

4) you ask them where they last went for a picnic, they repeat point no 2) or beat the shit out of you for 'sprinkling salt on their wounds'

5) you have a tense word with someone over a trivial matter and are told to meet them outside school. and no, it is NOT because they want to take you out to a friendly dinner/lunch to settle the matter.

6) if you visit during IPL season, you will be approached by many a students for whats popularly called satta... there's a whole IPL going on in the school itself.!! cautionary note: if you do take part in the betting, remember only to deal with experienced/reputed sattebaazez. most of the rest refuse to pay, and if you protest point no 5) is executed.

7) there is no need for you to fake food poisioning to escape tests, eating from the school canteen will do the trick for real.

8) you reach school and find half the population absent. then you realise it must be monday, for every monday is the time for 20 mark tests.

9) you learn to ignore huge masses of crowd gathered together in the field, encircling what you know would be the section C boys beating the crap out of each other, because it happens every other day.

10) students wishing teachers as they pass by them in the corrdiors mutter a swear words under thier breath.

11) you will have a strong knowledge of the choicest swear words/female/male body anatomy within a year of joining. words are written in the most un-ignorable places.

12) you press the open button of the CPU to insert a CD and find wrappers of Kacha Aam and other toffees stuffed there out of vengeance.

13) you will heard words like 'sources', 'setting', 'jugaad', 'jhand' from even the little kids, and when you ask what they mean, you'll be smirked at and refused to be told.

14) you know who john is. LOL.

15) you often hear noises that make you wonder if a drunken donkey is loose in the school. dont worry, it is only the music teacher passing on his knowledge of the 'saat surs' to his very excited [read: bored, tortured] students, who keep muttering stuff like 'log kehte hain main sharaabi hoon!' under thier breaths.

16) none of the chemicals in the chem lab works, thyre too diluted with water by the senior kids. also, never trust that bottle on the 13th shelf that says 'alcohol'... it is actually conc sulphuric acid. [i know nothing bout this i swear :p ]

17) every year on holi, teachers conduct 'surprise' checking of the bags and sieze all colors/water balloons errc. when the students leave... they play with it.

18) you will find various photos on the school computer where the head of the principal has been cropped out and stuck in the most objectionable places.

19) chalks and window clay are VERY dangerous things and any one seen with them should be run away from. FAST.

20) last but not the least... there is no such shit as "even after all the above points, students are proud to be part of the army school"... they are NOT, and all of them want to get out fast.


now reading: hearts in atlantis by stephen king
now listening: cry me a river, lostprophets
now wanting: a friend


Thursday, August 6, 2009

blah blah blogging

right now, i'm sitting at the last seat of our computer lab and blogging! we are supposed to be doing some C++ thing but blah! its not everyday you find the internet of your school actually WORKING!!

sir just came by and saw me interneting. he is sort of pissed, but i guess he should get used to the fact that i am no longer the goody two shoes that i was in 11th. i mean really. give me a BREAK!

he is still looking at me O_o its weird. he looks pissed. no one listens to him actually

darn, the boy adjacent to me needs him. hes coming.... aah! bless sonum she got him before.

anyway, so my friends are playing table tennis outside. if i turn around my head i can see guys playin football too!

im sort of bored right now. gah. we thought we would ask our sir for a games period but he looked so voldy like... standing there by the gate demanding to see practical copies as we entered... that we let it go.

hmm. what else? pratibha just came and sat by me.

she says hi.


hey i hear clappin outside. maybe HG died...*wishes fervently*

grrr no.. i just looked. just a stupid table tennis thing.

hmm lets see if i can excuse myself and go play one round of table tennis.. or not. first off sir is majorly pissed.

and OH! look whos playing. my very good friend-turned-ignorable person-turned-backbiter though i dont care- turned enemy. i SO do not stand any chances of gettin to even smell the bat.

not like i wanna. ew.

18 minutes still remain till schools out. DAMN then stupid 3 hour coaching of chemistry ...and i missed it last time so i ll have to copy extra 3 hours of work.

i think i ll go now..


now reading: anythin for you ma'am (yeah i know, GAY! but i ve retunred all library books ...blah)
now listening to: ping pong ping pong
now wanting: AC... too hot in here.